I watched Nightmare before Christmas in the theatre and I fell asleep pretty quickly. I remember thinking - don't blink! It's so beautiful, which it is - must not miss a frame! And then soon after I passed out.
Now, I love Halloween, love claymation, love Danny Elfman, love Tim Burton, love musicals, why was this movie putting me to sleep? I figured, hey, I must have been uber-pooped.
When I joined Columbia House they had NbC special edition as a selection and at 1c, how could I go wrong?
So when i got it, I watched all the interesting supplementary material and then forgot about it. Last night I decided to watch it, starting around 6:30 pm. I was asleep by 7. BAM! Generally the same time I fell asleep before.

I woke up to the menu music, groggy and stupid. What, do they have nerve gas pumping out of this film? I tracked to the track I last recalled being awake for and struggled to remain awake for the full remainder of the 71 minute movie. This movie is shorter than Pocahontas!

IT BLOWS! The music is talky and generally tuneless, more rhythm and not-so-clever lyrics. The hero, Jack Skellington, is an arrogant prig who greedily and egotistically decides to steal Xmas from Christmas Town, and also captures and tortures Santa. He doesn't listen to his "dear friend" Sally's warnings (based on nothing, but called "her premonition") and he doesn't heed any sense of taste or logic. He then ruins Christmas, Sally tries to save the day, then he sort of saves the day but really Santa saves the day, and Jack returns home to Halloween town, which he had utterly rejected and subjected to his tyrannical Xmas whim, a hero's parade greeting him. All the characters are excessively sketchy and not at all explained, the dialogue is clumsy, the music does not support any emotional moment, it just fills in when the characters start speaking loudly or in rhyme, and the frickin moral of the story is what? Stick to what you're good at? Don't try anything new? Stealing XMas is wrong but it will still make you a hero?

ACK!!!!!!!!!

Just had to share.

  posted by Cinerina @ 3:17 PM

 
Yeah, diligence is my middle name. Since the blogger doesn't work well at home and I get in trouble for being on the internet at work, well, it's limiting. I have a great story to tell my reader, Richard Esteban Toscano, but it's long and detailed. Perhaps it will have to wait.

Apparently my step brother Rob (not to be confused AT ALL with live in boyfriend Rob) is roadtripping out west and wants to drop by, asking what city I live in. Eeek. I don't want to speak ill of the freakish but that kid seems to be having a permanent nervous breakdown.

Oops the managers and supervisors are coming out of their meeting, gotta look happy and well adjusted!

  posted by Cinerina @ 2:26 PM

 
Speaking of the NRA, when is this DC area sniper going to quit with his practice rounds and go for The Big Show? I guess he knows he will only have one chance, so he'd better be good. I think you know what I am talking about. Not that I condone mowing down innocents in the name of thrills and/or target practice, but if 7-8 people have to die in order to avert NUKE-U-LAR HOLOCAUST then I think it's worthy work. Not very sportsmanlike, he should at least wear a red plaid hat.

hey and thanks for the fan mail from my one reader!

  posted by Cinerina @ 9:42 PM

 
Notice the suspense with having a separate "paragraph?" Dig it.
So I open up the box, and inside is a note, regretfully informing me that my requested order is not in stock. My new checks have animals on them all right - deer, turkey, coon hounds, and men with rifles and red plaid hats. I suppose I should be glad my new HUNTING checks that I received in lieu of my ENDANGERED SPECIES checks at least did not donate the proceeds to the NRA. I called my bank (anonymous entity but its name rhymes with Smells Cargo) and while they abstractly understood my consternation, I do not think they get it. They were kind enough to send me new, less expensive checks and courteous to keep the extra $1 that was meant for the wildlife federation.

That'll teach me to be philanthropic.

  posted by Cinerina @ 9:40 PM

 
FUCKING BLOGGER!

Nothing funny happens around here, except in retrospect. I just wrote this and blogger's post & publish button disappears so I can't post & publish. I'll do it in spurts, and I am sorry.
Anyway.
So I don't have a lot of discretionary income to send $1000 checks to my favorite charities - I'm kind of in a bumper-sticker level of assistance income bracket. So I do what i can. I have to buy checks anyway, I might as well drop the extra $1 like the fat swell I am and get some that donate a percentage to the national wildlide federation, see? Recycled paper, soy ink, and the perverse joy of drawing on a harp seal.
Post & publish you piece of crap!

  posted by Cinerina @ 9:37 PM

 
I can't even try to be Rich - if you don't know rich, get to know him at www.richtoscano.com - he is one part Jon Stewart (the wee part) and one part demon from New Jersey. I can't pretend that I have the time/bitterness/bile to blog every day about the hilarious things but I have many upcoming "pieces" to submit.

Coming soon!
The double headed story
The checks

I'm self-indulgent, and lord knows this is easier than doing standup, but let's get serious. I HAVE TELEVISION TO WATCH! I can't be entertaining my reviews audience AND you people for free forever you know! Where is the hot, cash-filled love?

In other news I ruined my chances of having a proper costume by buying the wrong material from a place that does not take refunds. If I can't dress as I wish for Halloween, why are we in Afghanistan? Oh we're not any more, er why are we in Somalia, I mean Iraq, I mean Vietnam....well at least Americans are getting geography lessons.

Who knew where Kuwait was prior to 1990? Exactly. Where is it now? EXACTLY.

  posted by Cinerina @ 12:01 PM